@WilliamAder: A thing I learned at this week's staff meeting is that I have restless leg syndrome when I sleep.
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@HiddenPinky: Hi, I'd like a salamus sandwich, please. "You mean salami?" No, just a single salamus. "People who make Latin jokes are a bunch of ani."
@Papa_Mex: But baby, if you didn't want me climbing in your window, why'd you leave the ladder in the garage behind the workbench chained to the beam?
@Kyle_Lippert: It's absurd how none of the chicks at this park are recognizing my swag *puts flip phone back in my fanny pack. Rollerblades away*