@WilliamAder: A thing I learned at this week's staff meeting is that I have restless leg syndrome when I sleep.
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@KattsDogma: "You have a BA? Ooooh! Look at you! Well, I have a BA, an MA, & a PhD." - 3rd degree burn
@RealCarrotFacts: Putting a carrot next to you in bed can almost fill the space where Megan used to slep
@goldengateblond: Tim Cook bravely announces he's gay. The world pats his hand like a kindly grandmother. "We know, dear."
@ThisOneSayz: Parenting doesn't prepare you for the awkward glances you get when a naked Ken doll falls out of your briefcase.