@Poutymcgee: A tiny Tarzan swinging from your Tampon string.
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@Sickayduh: "911 what's your emergency?" - I've been catfished by a dozen men "We're on our way" - Gonna arrest them? "Gonna shut off your internet"
@SortaBad: "I have a coupon for a large 2 topping" "What toppings?" "Pepperoni & a small cheese pizza" "Sir you can't top a pizza with a smaller pizza"