@RamblingMachine: A truck with the slogan "We always go the extra mile" took the last parking spot so I wrote on it "because we missed the exit" as a revenge.
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@GBRougecity: I don't believe in reincarnation but damn my dog looks like he's trying to crank over a motorcycle while he's sleeping.
@Swishergirl24: Police officer: Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I'm just as confused as you are.
@robfee: Lynyrd Skynyrd wrote a song about how great Alabama is, and the only thing they could come up with is that the sky is really blue.
@sarcasticmommy4: It's nice that friends keep picking up my kids for play dates. It'd be even nicer if they'd stop bringing them back home.