@RamblingMachine: A truck with the slogan "We always go the extra mile" took the last parking spot so I wrote on it "because we missed the exit" as a revenge.
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@Floatersfinest: People laugh cos I've got 3 cats, but come the next Ice Age, when I speed past you on my cat sled, who'll be laughing then?
@trevso_electric: Does the S in iPhone 5S stand for "superficial"? "Shallow"? "Slave"? Or "soon to be obsolete"?
@tuckerflodman: To Do List While in Jail 1. Ask someone for an Eskimo kiss and when they shake their head no say,"Hey why'd you start without me?" 2. 3.
@flashember: ME: I'm so happy, I could treat a horse! WIFE: *sighs* That's not a saying [spoon-feeding ice cream to horse] Don't listen to her Mr Butters