@RamblingMachine: A truck with the slogan "We always go the extra mile" took the last parking spot so I wrote on it "because we missed the exit" as a revenge.
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@didifalldown: [Robot Uprising] Human: Oh no a robot! What kind are you? Robot: I am a counting machine Human: Oh thank g— Robot: Now killing human #53822
@dadofbieber: Studies suggests, 9 out of 10 men prefer a girl with a big butt. The 10th man prefers the other 9 men.
@jenstatsky: A guy who wears a ring is always a dealbreaker. If it's on his ring finger, he's married. If it's not, he's a guy who wears rings.