@MrPhetz: A TV weatherman who keeps accidentally calling the anchorwoman mom
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@fro_vo: Doctor: you're never too old to start exercising Me: cool thanks i'll start in maybe like 15 years then
@notacroc: [alternate universe where jesus christ's name was jeffy spaghetti] ME: *hears some horrible news* jeffy spaghetti
@TheMichaelRock: HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
@goodballs: [sees girl reading Lord of the Rings] "Ah I love that book. The way that guy is just [clenches fist] the Lord of all those freakin rings."