@Mish3l_Ali: A Tweet is like a dress; the shorter the hotter.
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@paralysing_word: If you think you're too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
@ValeeGrrl: POLICE OFFICER: [frisking me] why do you have chicken nuggets in all your pockets? ME: they're medicinal
@LurkAtHomeMom: How to calm a crying baby: 1. Pick it up. 2. Ok, so when it turns like 5 you can put it back down. Good luck.