@Mish3l_Ali: A Tweet is like a dress; the shorter the hotter.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GlazerBooHooHoo: To trick people into thinking I understand things at a museum I stand in front of every painting and silently count to twenty.
@themorris23: *Hulk smashes thru courtroom wall* SOMEONE ASK FOR INCREDIBLE WITNESS?! Judge- no, CREDIBLE! Hulk- shit HULK VERRY SORRY BOUT YOUR WALL
@Rollmaninoz: I just switched my phone to airplane mode and a small child appeared and started kicking me in the back.
@rolldiggity: It's going to be so disappointing if we ask aliens about crop circles and they're just like, "We hate corn."