@longwall26: A werewolf is chasing you and you are going to die but he's wearing TOMS and you can't stop laughing.
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@Abusitron: ME: I need you to look at my balls, doc *removes pants* DR: Ok what seems to be the problem? ME: *swivels hips sensually* Nuthin
@davedittell: the boss hands me a gun, "you know what to do." I nod. outside, I frantically google: boss gun why how to kill is killing ok regift gun ok
@PhilJamesson: [I kneel down, pick up some dirt and let it run through my hand] uh huh.... [I lick my finger and stick it in the air] hmm.... [I run my knuckles over some moss on a nearby tree] unless i'm mistaken, it would seem that i'm outside
@murrman5: *pushes cart from 20 feet away into cart corral perfectly* "did you see th-*wife is already calling parents to take the kids for the night*