@PieChord: "A wine please"
"Sir, this is McDonalds..."
"Okay, a McWine please"
@ThePocketJustin: My phone case doesn't expose the logo on the back. So it could be anything. I could be speaking on two mirrors with foam in the middle.
@Playing_Dad: Got fired from my 4th fast food job in a row for asking "do you want a shake with that?" at the drive thru window and then twerking for 5 minutes no matter what they answered
@KylePlantEmoji: Professor: most of you won't pass this course
Me: cool so you're like, Real shitty at your job
@squirrel74wkgn: *tosses bath towel on hotel floor*
[text from wife at home]
"Pick that up."
@Vodkantots: When someone compliments you, look them in the eye and calmly state, "I refuse to accept this."
Then walk away forever.