@PieChord: "A wine please"
"Sir, this is McDonalds..."
"Okay, a McWine please"
@River_Niles: A white American told me I shouldn't call myself "British" because brown people aren't native to Britain.
A white American
@CornOnTheGoblin: [leaving a birthday party with my piñata friend] i swear i didn't know they were going to do that
"Just take me home"
@WilliamRodgers: It would be cool if a jar of Nutella had more than one serving in it...
@TheHyyyype: [i'm on the ship's deck, dragging around a board by a rope]
PIRATE CAPTAIN: *rubs temples* that's not what i meant by "walk the plank"
@_Tempo11: If I put on a latex glove and snap it, that's just me flirting