@PieChord: "A wine please"
"Sir, this is McDonalds..."
"Okay, a McWine please"
@kelkulus: Egyptians don't walk like that.
@InternetHippo: I woke up in the middle of the night to jot down this million dollar idea
@TheAlexNevil: I've made friends on Twitter I never would've met in real life, and I wouldn't trade them for anything less than $200.
@thatdutchperson: I just ordered a set of dumbbells, so that'll be a fun new thing to trip over while I search for the remote.
@DemetriMartin: The technical term for the very bottom of a banana is the "bananus".