@PieChord: "A wine please"
"Sir, this is McDonalds..."
"Okay, a McWine please"
@OBiiieeee: my father died in a conga line and so shall i
@Bacardidevi: "I am going on a trip." "Mushrooms or acid?"
@LeviathanPride: Guys at work are always like "why are your shorts so short?" Then I spin kick an inch away from their face with such precision and they know
@LuvPug: My boss called in sick of me
@KKAlThani: "Dad, how did you fall in love with mom?"
"Well, son, long story short I saw her picture on Instagram and it was love at first...filter."