@WilliamAder: A woman at work told me I look younger with my glasses off. I told her she looked younger with my glasses off, too.
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@robfee: Finding Nemo (2003) A father is criticized for being overprotective after his wife & kids are murdered & his only surviving son is kidnapped
@iinkedZombie: [courtroom] Me: "I OBJECT YOUR HONOR" Judge: on what grounds? "LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO" Prosecutor: he's good Judge: *slams gavel* case dismissed.
@Shock_Monster: HR: Does anyone know what FMLA stands for? Me: Fire My Lazy Ass? HR: ... Me: I was gonna guess Lesbian Ass but thought that's inappropriate.