@WilliamAder: A woman at work told me I look younger with my glasses off. I told her she looked younger with my glasses off, too.
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@gengen874: OMG, he's almost here. How's my hair? My clothes? How do I look? (knock, knock) He's here!!!! I'm so excited! *My pizza delivery guy.
@SCbchbum: I blame movies for giving me unrealistic expectations about how long I can look away from the road while driving.
@hythemafia: "Pay attention, 007; this might look like an ordinary suitcase but, if you push this button, a handle comes out and you can wheel it."
@Drivelodeon: If you need anything you can call me any time of the day or night. I won't answer and my ringer will be off, so it won't bother me at all.