@whereami18: A woman just asked me to "unpark her car" and now I'm searching urban dictionary to see what I really just agreed to do
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@junejuly12: Seeing a woman drinking, smoking, and gambling while in her wedding dress makes me realize I need to up my multi-tasking game.
@NotPeterStark: Me: "Hi, do nurses still give sponge baths?" Nurse: "Sir, you're just here for a blood pressure reading..." *pulls pants back up*
@MrEd_EVH: Ate a bowl of Captain Crunch Berries this morning. With blatant disregard for the roof of my mouth. -thug life