@MrLloydSpandex: A woman just dropped a £10 note next to me. I thought, 'What would Jesus do?', so I turned it into wine. I bought wine.
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@GirlRestrained: Oh look a Spider...... Oh look Listerine.... Oh look spider wiggling for life.... Minty fresh dead spider
@LuluLanternFish: Before I really understood sarcasm people would say things like "oh, well look who it is" and I'd be like "it's me Karen, I'm your daughter"
@WilliamAder: Been trying to pair my new phone with the Bluetooth in the car and I think it's easier to get pandas to mate.