@MrLloydSpandex: A woman just dropped a £10 note next to me. I thought, 'What would Jesus do?', so I turned it into wine. I bought wine.
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@junejuly12: People who say 45 minutes past the hour are the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 months old
@Fred_Delicious: To the people complaining about my tweets. Sorry I'm not justifying your monthly subscription of $0
@daemonic3: [starbucks] One tall iced latte please "Ok, can I have a name?" Well ok but it really should come from your parents