@Dschnoeb: A woman on the subway this morning said "did you know the government is closed? Is it a holiday or something?" So really, we deserve this.
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@tchrquotes: Student:Why do we need to know this? Me: To look smart for your friends. Student:What if I don't want to look smart? Me: You're doing great.
@TheCiscoKidder: Drive down the middle of my street and make me squeeze by you, so I know who to murder first when the apocalypse hits.