@youcancallmesim: "She sends things to strangers on the internet and no one even cares but she keeps doing it" - my dad, explaining me on twitter to my aunt.
@junejuly12: Him: How was your day?
Me: Do you think my house key is sharp enough to sever a carotid artery?
Him: *opens four bottles of wine*
@CroweJam: I just woke up and scared the hell out of this mortician.
@DavePrimeau: The human body is 98% water.
So I'm not fat,
Just well hydrated.
@atstephenbell: bowie leaves us and then a 9th planet appears, i don't need to read your science article
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