@meaganbb1: I like when I wear my glasses because then I have four-eyes I can roll at your ridiculousness!

@thenatewolf: God: why don't we text anymore? Me: you know why God: I can't just give everyone a Sega whenever they ask. That's not how it works Me: k

@pevbim: I've never held a baby before "It'll be fine" *I accidentally put the baby in a box and mail it to North Korea*

@PoguePhilosophy: I just bought some land with a stranger and now we have a lot in common.

@frenchielaboozi: i can't believe i have to keep washing this stupid body until i die