@Hobo_Splendido: About to go for a run, because shoplifting
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@murrman5: [giving mother in law my famous salad dressing recipe over the phone] 1 part vinegar, then *bites lip so I don't laugh* 2 parts baking soda
@SomeChrisTweets: Foal me once, I have a baby horse. Foal me twice, no one needs this many baby horses. Foal me thrice, please stop. I have no room for them.
@FreudsTwin: Rather than Anti-psychotic drugs, I prefer a more friendlier tone like Pro-sanity pills.
@underchilde: I never buy a new couch without first seeing what it looks like with five loads of laundry piled on top of it.