@leslid79: Abra abracadabra. I wanna reach out and stab ya.
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@DeanOkay: I learned mathematical fractions from a drug dealer. He said if I don't pay $4,000 in 7 days, I'll lose 3 fingers.
@SheeeRatchet: Black girls twerk, Hispanic girls hip roll, Indian girls belly dance & white girls watch.
@iwearaonesie: wife: I was saving that me [eating bacon] It expires today *wife checks package* *sees I crossed out the date and wrote "today"*