@nyax6: Abraham: look here son, i got windows 98! Isaac: but dad, we don't have enough memory? Abraham:Have faith, God will provide the RAM.
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@david8hughes: [shipwreck diary] Day 32: a plane flew over last night but I fired the only flare on day 5 to celebrate my first solid shit in over a week
@jus4golf: To impress the guys I told them I was dating an artist. I didn't tell them her preferred medium was sandwiches.
@P_o_n_k: [Shower] ME: This is literally my most vulnerable, unexpecting, and relaxed state SHAMPOO BOTTLE: Seems like a good time to hit the ground
@trevso_electric: "If I write something completely creepy under a girl's Facebook photo, maybe it WON'T be creepy if I end it with 'lol.'" -guy logic