@shkeeber: Accepting a Facebook friend request from someone you follow on twitter is like bringing home your drug dealer to meet your family.
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@SaltyCorpse: The county is excusing our kids from school on eclipse day so they don't accidentally burn their eyes. I went to school with asbestos...
@sageboggs: KANYE: I made Taylor Swift famous TRUMP: We should ban all Muslims KANYE: BILL COSBY INNOCENT TRUMP: THE POPE SUCKS KANYE: damn ur good