@fart: accidentally called the guy at the oil change place "mom"
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@theshamingofjay: When Bruce Banner gets constipated do you think he turns into the Hulk? - just one of the thoughts I have during important business meetings
@abhorrent_wife: I don't always try to use big words but when I do, I accidentally tell a mother her toddler was a necrophiliac today instead of narcoleptic.
@DrDogMD: COW: I'm constipated DR DOG: when was ur last bowel moooo-vement lol C: ur doing puns right now? DD: gonna milk this for all its worth lmao