@Tw1tter_K1tten: Accidentally drew my eyebrows on too dark and thick and now I live on Sesame Street with Ernie.
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@TheBeerGuy73: ...and then the whiskey whispered "You should totally tell her about what your ex used to do to you in bed."
@onelongbender: This woman at work sounds just like me. I'm going to pay her to call my Mom and occasionally say mmhmm and how nice.
@wesjohnson8: My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets.