@Tw1tter_K1tten: Accidentally drew my eyebrows on too dark and thick and now I live on Sesame Street with Ernie.
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@kyle_thatisall: Good night cop: Want the light on or off? Sweet dreams kiddo. Bad night cop: You will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep.
@3sunzzz: My son went into a bank 5 mins ago and I'm waiting in the car. Now I'm hearing sirens in the distance and I'm hoping I'm not a getaway car.
@Parentpains: I don't make spelling and grammatical errors I invent new languages. You ignorant Count.