@JermHimselfish: Accidentally fell asleep smoking an e-cigarette and when I woke up my whole house was on the internet.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: Before you take advice from me... you should know I walk around my house in my underwear while complaining about being cold.
@BuckyIsotope: TARGET GUY: anything I can help you find? ME: I’m looking for *eyes turn black* BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT TARGET GUY: *eyes turn black* AISLE 5