@Book_Krazy: Accidentally got in the 10 items or less line with 11 items again, so I made two separate transactions so I wouldn't piss anyone off.
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@MarfSalvador: [Desert island] Me: JANE! Jane: What? M: It's a boat! J: HEEEEEEEEELP! Me writing: Day 286, Jane is still scared of boats
@causticbob: MISSING: Black and white cat with red collar. Very intelligent. Mittens, if you're reading this, please come home.
@samalmightysam: Women can detect even the smallest of lies, but on TV they tell them they can lose 20 pounds in 5 days and they believe it all.
@Sassafrantz: Making a grocery list after 8 beers is awesome because the next morning I get to wonder why I need 7000 bags of pizza rolls.