@Fred_Delicious: *accidentally likes a hot girl's photo of a sandwich from 3 years ago*
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@Nickadoo: When a friend dies, I'm not sure if I should unfriend them on Facebook or occasionally "poke" them to see if they're still dead.
@3sunzzz: If a bear attacks me, I'm staying put. The only thing worse than getting attacked by a bear, is getting attacked by a bear while running.
@AndrewNadeau0: I know this is the kind of thing everyone avoids talking about, but I'm going to say it. I think I'm smarter than most, if not all, babies.
@Midgetspar: Cool Ranch Doritos are just like regular ranch Doritos except every chip wears a little pair of aviators.