@TheDailySchmuck: Accidentally pressed the soap dispenser instead of the toothpaste. Mouth feels clean but I don't think I'll be able to curse today. Shucks.
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@HabeasDorkis: I don't wear sunglasses because it's unfair that a photon travels 93 million miles and then when it's an inch from my eye I'm all "um, no."
@dance_blessed: "You'll never get the butt you want by sitting on the one you have." -Maya Angelou
@quietlybiased: Do your part as a parent by helping prevent teen pregnancy. Let your child play the tuba. Tuba players never get laid.