@vapidcontent: accidentally said "bring a ding ding those toes over here mommy" out loud to no one in particular at work the other day and one of the female employee's said "Okay, it's been fun here I quit"
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@AndyAsAdjective: GRANDPA: I have shrapnel stuck in my head from World War II ME: I've had that Chumbawamba song stuck in my head since 1997 so I feel ya
@heatherlou_: Having one bathroom in your house teaches you that it is possible to hate a person because of a bathroom.
@JediGigi: I always carry a jar gripper with me in case I'm ever stranded on a deserted island with a jar of salsa. I also always carry a jar of salsa.
@IncrediblyRich: If Bob The Builder's slogan is "Can he fix it?" then he's not really a builder is he? More of a repairman.