@JennyJohnsonHi5: According to Facebook, Sept. 11th is about posting as many pictures of crying bald eagles obscured by an American flag as you can.
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@TheMichaelRock: We're expecting 12 inches tomorrow night. Well played, Black History Month. Well played.
@SonOfCha: Not only are all my tweets stolen, but so are all my thoughts. And everything I say. And my identity. And this baby.
@seanforhire: if aliens attack we will probably be fine unless they realize how easily we are influenced by traffic cones