@mrtruthandsoul: According to math, I'm broke
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@NoogsCorner: Women always complain about periods. Talk to me when ovaries become supersensitive, hang in a thin sac and you accidentally sit on them.
@caseytduncan: When I'm nervous, I like to picture everyone naked. Then, I picture them fully clothed, with items of my choosing. It's a very complex and fashionable coping mechanism.
@julezmac: Football is so cute it's like some guys are like we're gonna get you and one guys like no no no no
@Gre_Gone: Me: *ziplines into wedding* "Sup nerds?" *pants get caught and tear off leaving me dangling naked upside down* Priest: "Ooh a piñata!"