@SCbchbum: According to rom coms, I haven't met the perfect guy because I've never chased an important paper down the block in a gust of wind.
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@Dawn_M_: Sorry I looked completely surprised that your baby didn't burst into flames when I chanted The Power Of Christ Compels You.
@dubstep4dads: [first date] her: so, tell me about yourself! me: well, im not good with dates her: but you're doing fine! me: christmas is on september 3rd
@Turbo_Jimmy: Her: that's disgusting Me: sorry, I like to poo with the door open sometimes Her: you shouldn't be pooping in the car at all
@SveldtSmelt: I like to eat a handful of paperclips right before I walk through a metal detector cuz I got all day, pal.