@SCbchbum: According to rom coms, I haven't met the perfect guy because I've never chased an important paper down the block in a gust of wind.
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@shutupmikeginn: I'm scared of the pesticides on this produce, so I guess I'll run them under cold water for half a second
@im_not_smug: Coworker: That's a stupid song Me: Your face is stupid Coworker: Way to be mature Me: YOUR FACE IS MATURE!!
@WhiskeySoured: Never judge a book by its cover. Besides, you're on Twitter and don't even read books.