@DBMaxP: According to the group of firemen in our floor's breakroom... my microwave popcorn is burnt
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@LurkAtHomeMom: I didn't have time to have my coffee before drop off this morning. Anyway. Hopefully I brought them to the right school.
@notalogin: [Interview] CEO: Why do you think you'd be a good fit at our firm? GUY WHOSE DESCRIPTION IS SO LONG HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY GET TO SAY ANYTHING:
@david8hughes: I'm impressed by girls who paint their eyebrows on. How do you pick one facial expression for the whole day? Like what if you find a penny?
@SamGrittner: Life is what happens when you're busy choosing a filter for what already happened in life.