@DBMaxP: According to the group of firemen in our floor's breakroom... my microwave popcorn is burnt
@carlielyn: Your car took up two spaces, so I tried to move it over with my key.
@writerPT: Hubs: If you could sleep with...
Hubs: ...the fan off tonight, that'd be great.
@NotKevinSheedy: I peed so hard that a little laugh came out
@scottthetwat: Instead of the Maternity Ward they should have called it
the New Releases section.
@XplodingUnicorn: I walked into a gas station & a woman handed me a free slice of pizza
Either Iowa is the nicest state in America or I've just been poisoned