@TitansHomer: According to the heart rate monitor on this treadmill, I died 14 minutes ago.
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@goodersuk74: I got a new stick of deoderant. Instructions said: 'remove cap & push up bottom'. I can barely walk but when I fart the room smells lovely
@WillSaysStuff: welcome back to guitar 101 everybody. what now, steve? uh, hey. are you gonna make the 'snapped my g-string' joke? no *steve leaves*
@NickSwardson: Congrats to the person that invented the wobbly restaurant table. It's basically everywhere now.
@AaronBurdette: With Girls Gone Wild bankrupt wild girls no longer have a home. Many of them will be put down. Please. Adopt a wild girl. Before she's gone.