@TitansHomer: According to the heart rate monitor on this treadmill, I died 14 minutes ago.
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@lilgapeach30: Siri just said I'm looking for love in all the wrong places so I'm tryin to figure out what happened to Siri and how my mom got in my phone.
@VapingSonic: Cashier: sir the conveyor belt isn't meant for riding Me: I- I gotta know Cashier: know what? Me: *sighs* what I'm really worth. scan me
@trojansauce: GIRL: would you like to go out for dinner sometime? ME:*nervously looks around* MY MUM: *appearing from nearby bush* he only eats lunchables