@TheMichaelRock: According to these Father's Day gift sections, all dads are clean shaven business men that love playing golf and think they're #1.
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@AndyAsAdjective: I now feel I've watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I'll be able to successfully make it in prison.
@Scimommy: Tried to impress 9 by making up sentences containing 3 of her vocabulary words at once, so now she knows what "nerd" means.
@GrantTanaka: Wife just found out my ring tone for her is "ding dong the witch is dead" so if anyone wants to race to Canada READY SET GO
@AGreaterMonster: I can't take this show seriously until they address the size of Clifford the Big Red Dog's poops.