@TheMichaelRock: According to these Father's Day gift sections, all dads are clean shaven business men that love playing golf and think they're #1.
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@causticbob: "Wanna hear a joke?" "Alright then." "What's the difference between a toilet and a fridge?" "I don't know," "You're disgusting."
@tastefactory: My computer keeps giving me an error message saying "The Printer Can't Be Found." Uh buddy it's RIGHT NEXT TO YOU, HELLO
@natalayhehoo: It's all fun and games until you accidently grab the hand sanitizer instead of the lube.
@shutupmikeginn: Everyday I walk to work by a Ferrari dealership, put my nose against the etched glass window and say, "someday I'll own a window this nice."