@SardonicTart: "Act your age!" I yell at my 11 year-old daughter as I put on my Captain America t-shirt.
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@Karissajem: Neighbors just got a pirate ship playhouse for their backyard. Drunk me has never been so excited.
@JB1971_: Before I die I want to see a dog run out of a butchers shop with a string of sausages hanging out of its mouth.
@imence2: Gf:Do u love me? Me:Yes. Gf:Why do u love me? Me:You're the best. Gf:I'm the best at what? Me:Asking questions. Gf: Like what? Me:...