@JosephScrimshaw: Actually Frankenstein was the name of the scientist. I, the person correcting you on this trivial point, am the monster.
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@UncleDuke1969: "Hi-" "I have a boyfriend." "Do y-" "I have a boyfriend." "Excuse m-" "I have a boyfriend." "I JUST WANNA KNOW WHERE THE BATHROOM IS."
@PaulFrei: I imagine when you get to heaven they give you a box with all the sodas and snacks that vending machines cheated you out of your whole life.
@rocknthepurple: I don't know why so many people blame their air conditioning for their inability to spell.
@Gre_Gone: [Ad shows dude getting out of bed before noon on the weekend] *professional stuntman do not attempt*