@JosephScrimshaw: Actually Frankenstein was the name of the scientist. I, the person correcting you on this trivial point, am the monster.
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@dreamthievin: I need a guy who's cute charming smells good smells really good like cinnamon and sugar and flaky crust and actually I just need some pie
@DurtMcHurtt: Getting a neck tattoo is probably the coolest way to show your love for manual labour.
@ValeeGrrl: Other parents do back-to-school pics of kids holding signs w/ their grade on it & mine are just a series of selfies w/ me & the bus driver.
@Bluestmoon_: How to make microwave popcorn: 2 minutes 27 seconds-half bag popped. 2 minutes 29 seconds-MICROWAVE ON FIRE.