@KevinBuffalo: Actually, I thought 50 Shades Of Grey was about Taco Bell meat.
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@zachreinert03: Recently joined the mile high club sandwich. That's when you have sex on a plane, and it's with a sandwich
@iamspacegirl: SURPRISE! I scream, bursting from the vat of mashed potatoes. The other lunch ladies do not look surprised They do not look surprised at all
@jimmytorosian: *Brings axe to slumber party* "Oops. I thought you said 'lumber party'" *Knew the whole time* *Waits until they're asleep* *Chops down tree*
@Abusitron: Me: why do bad things happen to good people? God: *reveals image of me jerking off to April from Ninja Turtles* Me: oh God: *nods solemnly*