@notalogin: Actually, Kara, love is an illusion created by chemical reactions. The most powerful force in the world is the invisible hand of the market.
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@djdarrellripley: Me: OMG, I haven't seen you in so long! Her: We've never met. Me: That long huh?
@canunots: parents: okay we will be home at 11 o'clock! clock: 11:01 me: they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now
@mjkspeaks: [shopping] May I help you find something? “Where are the giants?“ What? “Your sign outside says there’s a giant sale.“