@MaraWritesStuff: Adele is an amazing singer. The problem is, when one of her songs comes on, everyone else thinks they are, too
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@MelvinofYork: My kid told me an “old dead girl” lives in her room and whispers to her at night. I hope they get along cuz I’m never going in there again.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Nephew just whispered something into a Cadbury Easter Bunny's ears then broke off its head. I'm sleeping with the lights on.
@HotSnuff: Guy told me I have "Bambi eyes"...is that even a compliment? Oh god, please don't shoot my mother.
@SweetestSarcasm: If you love someone... Bury them in your backyard so no one can find them. Then you'll have them FOREVER! *looks out window & smiles*