@MaraWritesStuff: Adele is an amazing singer. The problem is, when one of her songs comes on, everyone else thinks they are, too
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@CaptainJerkwad: "Where does it hurt?" the doctor asked. "Right Ear" replied the Englishman, pointing to his broken ankle.
@Matt_The_1st: I applied for a loan from the U.S. Government, but was turned down because I had a legitimate repayment plan