@HomeProbably: After 10 missed calls in a row, I'm tempted to answer the phone just so I can find out who wants to be murdered.
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@CoolCamel69: "we're broke? how is that possible?" (extremely high pitched voice) no idea "did you-" *opens closet & hundreds of helium tanks fall out*
@kwirkyKerri: You don't need to threaten me into submission. Just hold some cheesecake under my nose.
@WarrenHolstein: Police say Oscar Pistorius is a flight risk. How? Does he also have a pair of propeller feet?
@FlyJ_: Him: *down on one knee* Will you marry me? Me: Nah, I'm good, but... (puts up hand up to high five) thanks for asking!