@ClaytonSykes: After getting out of jury duty, it dawned on me that our nation's trials are decided by 12 people too stupid to get out of jury duty.
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@DanMentos: [walks up to guys playing basketball] "mind if I join?" you any good? Hell yeah I'm good. Toss me the orange sphere
@Dutch_50: A co-worker is retiring, so they're passing a card around filled with cash. I only took $10 but normally my signature is worth much more.
@mikeleffingwell: When people argue about sports and one says "Care to make it interesting" I assume they're going to start talking about something else.
@Heaterhotusus: *rage dresses *rage stomps down stairs *rage closes neighbors banging garbage can lid flapping in wind *rage stomps upstairs *rage undresses