@KentWGraham: After Jaws, I wouldn’t go in water. After the Godfather, I wouldn’t eat at Italian restaurants. I wish I’d seen the Omen before having kids.
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@Xalqee: If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
@eddiesteadyno: The plan was to keep eating these alcoholic chocolates until I was either drunk or diabetic. I didn't bargain on "bankrupt" being an option.
@daemonic3: Ok, milk... Check! Potato salad... Check! Tomatoes... Check! "Sir, can you wait for the total and just write one check please?"
@trentistweeting: Bee Gees Songs: Saturday Night Fever Sunday Night Scurvy Monday Night Measles Tuesday Night Typhoid Wednesday Night Whooping Cough