@Cryptoterra: after my son won his soccer game, his teammate invited us over to celebrate. it was father, son, and the goalie host
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@jasonroeder: I don't think my neighbor knows my rule about not interacting unless we're both pointing at the same tornado.
@ConcernedSirGuy: Sirs & Ma'ams, It is a well-known fact that when Jesus takes the wheel, He doesn't just stop with the wheel. He takes the stereo too.
@ibid78: Judge: You're sentenced to death. You'll be hung. Wife from the back: HE'S ALREADY HUNG. Me: Your Honor uncuff me so I can high five my wife
@SalimAliAhmad: Do you ever go on youtube just to watch a music video then 5 hours later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe?