@ShanaRose21: After reading some marriage tweets I'm beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person.
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@Reverend_Scott: customer service: so the vacuum works just fine but you want to return it cuz it's... too loud? me: [looks over at dog] that is correct
@E_lok44: If you eat a block of cheese and do a lunge, it should balance out, right? Actually, it was less lunge, more trip, but still.
@notshivi: Everyone prepare yourself for National "How is it May already?" Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.