@pinupteacher: After seeing my dog scoot her butt across my rug, I've decided I need to up my break dancing game.
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@WilliamAder: If you get a gift from me, there may or may not be a pair of scissors between the wrapping and the gift. I'm gonna need those back.
@gojarbe: "and this lake shall be called Superior" all the other Great Lakes: "k wow we're like right here"
@SteveSuckington: Fun prank: 1: steal your married friends phone 2: change your name to "Brandi from the club" 3: call them repeatedly and hang up at 3AM