@pinupteacher: After seeing my dog scoot her butt across my rug, I've decided I need to up my break dancing game.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Tmoney68: If I survived a plane crash in the wilderness, my biggest concern would be how much my airport parking bill would be.
@NickSchug: If you encounter a bear you should either play dead or be so vibrant that the bear is like "whatever this person seems exhausting."
@thepunningman: Dr "Do you want the good news or the bad news?" Patient "Good" Dr "You have 6 months to live" P "What's the bad news!?" Dr "...in dog years"