@pinupteacher: After seeing my dog scoot her butt across my rug, I've decided I need to up my break dancing game.
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@Moldy_Jellybean: Government shutdown day 7: Electricity still works. Water is still running. No cool gangs to join yet. Worst apocalypse ever.
@avxlanche: me: mom i like this person from twitter mom: TWITTER IS LIKE CRAIGSLIST YOU THINK YOURE BUYING USED BOWLING SHOES AND YOU WIND UP DEAD
@kelkulus: They say don't dress for the job you have, but for the job you want. Still, I think I look pretty stupid waiting tables in a spacesuit.
@robfee: Where was the NSAs wire taps when the McCallisters were leaving messages with all the neighbors that Kevin was home alone? Thanks Obama.