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@MarfSalvador: [After sitting for a portrait for 18 hours] Where's the artist?
@junejuly12: Him: I really like your car
H: What is it?
@dxblarssonENG: Meth addicts gets all their drug money from the tooth fairy.
@ItsAndyRyan: If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian, then soviet.
@ninjadinosaur1: It doesn't make sense that there are so many poems about love, but there are no poems about hot, buttery mashed potatoes.
@pleatedjeans: Global warming is real the number of hot singles in my area has been increasing since 2007 that cannot be a coincidence