@MarfSalvador: [After sitting for a portrait for 18 hours] Where's the artist?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@katiefzack: I dress like a murderer when I walk through the sketchy park outside my dorm so murderers will be like "Oh she's cool she's one of us."
@joejwest: DATE: You hear that an ostrich escaped from the zoo? ME: [from the kitchen] No DATE: Oh. What's for dinner? ME: A suspiciously large chicken
@Papa_Mex: I kinda like zombies...but can we go ahead & decide whether they can run fast or just walk?...my apocolypse plans depend on it....thanks!
@EamonToPlease: My TWILIGHT ZONE plot idea: The sole survivor of the apocalypse finally has time to listen to podcasts but still doesn't feel like it.