@notalogin: After the hipster got his girl pregnant, he wouldn't shut up about how he was into her before she got big.
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@ojedge: Van Gogh: "Dude, I saw this hella vase of sunflowers today." Gauguin: "Pics, or it didn't happen." [van gogh pulls out oil paints & easel]
@Parker_Simpson: Hey guys keep up the "Bush did 9/11" tweets I think the pressure is really grinding his gears
@gogglepossum: [2 monkeys in a bath] Monkey 1: OOOHH OOHH AHH AHHH AHAH!! Monkey 2: If it's too hot Colin, put some cold water in
@shopkins776: I took two years of anger management courses Now I'm the manager of four brand new anger stores