@djdarrellripley: After we got the divorce she let me have everything. Except the jewelry, and of course something to keep it in. I call it "the house"..
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@Brentweets: "In case of emergency break glass" Who do you think I am? Some sort of karate expert? I can't even open a Cheetos bag.
@hell_homer: Gandalf chuckled to himself as the boat left shore. "I just noticed," he whispered, "your name sounds like Dildo" #LastLinesFromGreatBooks
@ceejoyner: For a quiet ride, buckle the empty seatbelt beside a child and tell them not to wake up the ghost.