@CornerPubRon: After years of intense research, I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is actually the cremated remains of all my other socks.
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@gmossii: My dog understands four words: his name, food, outside and Antidisestablishmentarianism.
@RandomBest: "I got this." Translated: I most certainly do not have this, but prepare to be thoroughly entertained.
@AdamSerwer: In Trump's America, undocumented workers get rounded up. Employers who hire undocumented workers get cabinet nominations.
@TEXASVETERAN: If I get married, I'd take my wife to a deserted island on our honeymoon. On our 15th anniversary, I'd return to pick her up. Maybe.