@robwhisman: ageism fascinates me because it's the only ism with this built-in inevitable irony. like, no racist gradually changes into a hispanic
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@Brianhopecomedy: Got really excited when my wife said she was going to teach me something new in the bedroom until she started folding a fitted sheet.
@RidiculousSheri: 'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
@The_Grant_Boldt: "Hi can I just have a single burger?" I'm sorry, all of our burgers are in a relationship "But that's not eve- Please show some respect