@samalmightysam: Ah ? ha ? ha ? ha ? stayin' alive, stayin alive ? ? ? ?.
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@mommywhines: Enjoyed 3 minutes and 42 seconds of extra sleep this morning by letting my kids stay up 5 hours past their bedtime
@KizerBillhelm: HR says I'm not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(
@sarcasticmommy4: If I had a dollar for every time one of my kids said "Mom, you're not funny", I could buy a beach house. And live by myself.
@KeetPotato: [studying beached whale] its a new species bill think of a name ok um *surfer walks by* yo killer whale dude *biologists look at each other*