@Donna_McCoy: Ain't no sunshine when she's gone, but there sure are a lot of unauthorized charges on the credit card.
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@internetluke: *hears robber in house* If anybody is there.. I have Updog & I'm not afraid to use it. "What's Updog?" Not too much haha you? "Robbing you"
@EliBraden: 71-yr-old Jimmy Page is dating a 25-yr-old. The age difference may seem huge now, but it won't be as big a deal when she's 28 and he's dead.
@Sassafrantz: Him: She's always doing magic tricks Therapist: Is that true? Me: Check your pocket. [he pulls out a piece of paper with 'NO' written on it]