@RunwayDan: Airbags should deploy in the form of balloon animals. Sure, you've been in an accident, but now you have a whimsical puppy dog.
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@jonnysun: INTERVIEWER: thank u, those are all my questions. do u hav any questions for us ME: yes…why do i want this job INTERVIEWER: [starts sweatig]
@SufficientCharm: Alfijnbahkfnbsbbakrbbjdnebzk hzueonyvag macarena yrvixndvwhkga ndhwkdbcbe hayvektoubabrjnahor HEYYYY MACARENA
@matt___nelson: 911: what's your emerg- ME: I'VE BEEN SHOT 911: ...why would you interrupt me like that?
@BlackJerms: So what do you think? New hair? No Shoes? No Bag? No Pants? No * 3 days later watching TV OMG u rearranged the living room - Men