@Humor_Fetish: Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices
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@CubanaMama82: I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it's obvious he had no idea how letters work.
@dlockw21: *First Date Her: Why are we at Home Depot? Me: I wanted to see what it's like to pick out bathroom tile with you. See if this is worth it.
@iGreenBabe: Twitter makes me want to have drinks with people I've never met, and Facebook makes me want to throw drinks at people I already know.
@kylekinane: I ate a tomato slice off the carpet. And some lettuce. And some bleu cheese bits. And mushrooms. I'm saying I dropped my salad on the floor.